Declaration of Independence

(Some clichés are too good to resist…It’s a holiday. Let me indulge.)

We’ve started a new Blog Challenge (again), and this one seems more manageable. Each week, one of us will ask a new question. This week Whitney inquired:

What did you accomplish in the last year?

I actually want to focus on something I was not so great at, which I would like to improve in the coming year. (Which is year #29. Let’s not talk about it…)
Yes, I am being Michael Scott in a job interview:
What are your strengths? / Lemme tell you about my weaknesses… 

I did accomplish some pretty baller things last year (birthday-to-birthday):

Participated in a surprise group dance number at a friend’s wedding reception (life list goal accomplished).

Started learning accordion, which is as awesome as it sounds.

Got runner-up in a national writing contest. (A one-liner writing contest. We’re starting small… but I got a free book! And my name on a website!)

Fit into pants I wore in high school (sweet red plaid Abercrombie situation circa 2001. For sure).

Went to Memphis to see my best friend from college marry the boy I introduced her to. (A long time ago. They get all the credit for the nuptials.) Still, “happiest day” doesn’t begin to describe.

Also saw Graceland. TCB.

Started writing for a TV show. Jokes that I wrote have gotten laughs on TV! For real, you guys! (The Mystery Hour, Saturdays @ 11 on KOZL. Check it, local peeps!)

Had a great relationship, lost a great relationship.

And now here we are. That catches you up to Sunday. And it’s that final one that gets me thinking about next year. As does the current message on my kitchen door chalkboard:

In case my cursive is bothersome, or the image doesn’t show up, it’s this:

You yourself, as much as anyone in the universe,
deserve your love and affection. –Buddha

(And the subtitle scrawled above, by Buddha’s bitter and less-famous cousin: AND NOBODY ELSE WANTS IT ANYWAY. har har.)

This. THIS. If I can internalize and put into practice one thing this birthday year…I think this mantra could save me a world of trouble. Perfectionism, conflict, jealousy, procrastination, burn-out, blow-ups, etc…. So many problems in my life get worse when I forget to take care of myself first. (That’s true for everybody, I think. Women in particular.)

There’s rarely just one thing (or one person) to blame when a relationship stops working, but I know one thing for sure: It’s in my disposition to put all my happiness eggs in a significant other’s basket. And that works for a while, because he’s happy that I’m making him happy, and I’m happy to be making him happy. But then, after a while, I don’t have enough happiness eggs left for myself. And then he wonders why I’m too sad to make omelets. And so he leaves.

(Oversimplified egg analogy…but not terribly inaccurate. There’s also some sort of “chicken” comparison in there, but I won’t make it.)

So that’s my goal for year 29: Take better care of my eggs. (or something)

Meaning, love myself first. Buddha knew it. Oprah knows it. Momma’s going to learn it. Then, omelets for everybody!

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