It’s a good thing I never started smoking.
That’s probably a weird thing to say, but I just know I wouldn’t be a casual smoker, the kind who make it look sexy by only doing it at parties or while writing on antique typewriters or something. No. I would be a chain-smoking, yellow-toothed, chimney-type person with free tobacco-branded jackets and such. It’s just my way.
I have trouble quitting things. Habits. Ideas. People. Problems.
(Quitting and finishing are two different things…but both are difficult for me. It’s kind of classic ENFP to start a bunch of projects and then have trouble finishing them. There are exceptions to this for me, of course. I manage to get things done, but it often means less sleep and more stress. I find it all the more amazing that I enjoy distancing running, because…that’s a big commitment, you guys, requiring planning and sustained commitment and follow-through. But I finished a marathon…Believe in miracles!!)
In its milder form, this tendency is the primary reason I’m chronically late. It’s hard to drag myself away from whatever it is I’m doing at any given moment in order to get myself to somewhere else. Nearly impossible (ask anyone who’s ever had to meet me, pick me up, wait for me, text me, “where the hell are you?”…). The less-mild form is some of the Groundhog Season business I was talking about yesterday. My “stuff” in the “we all have our stuff” sense, which I can’t quite quit.
So. Quitting bad habits or overcoming negative tendencies are not easy tasks. This fact accounted for roughly 60% of Oprah’s episodes. You wish for a genie, or that you could snap your fingers, or just write a check and voila! All better!! But it takes work, and sometimes desperate measures, just ask Lars.
Lars and the Real Girl is one of my favorite, favorite movies. It reminds me of this time of year and these types of thoughts. So I watched it tonight, treating it like a little case study in getting over yourself.
Because ultimately Lars learns to quit his “stuff.” Sure, it takes months.
And it takes…Bianca.
And it takes a whole community standing behind him and supporting him to help him get better.
But the good news is that he does. And it gets me every time.
(In particular the Talking Heads solo-dancing moment. And the teddy bear noose. And when they go bowling. And the flowers on the porch. And that last shot. And the doctor. And his brother. It’s all real good.)
After the movie was over, I went for a run. In the rain. (and…a little lightning. Don’t worry about it.) Didn’t plan it that way, I just really wanted to go for a run, and it was raining. Why else do I own wicking fabrics and dry-fit hats and what-not?
It was easily the most fun I’ve had in a while, knowing I looked a little crazy to people driving by. There’s one thing I’ve learned from my boy Lars: if you want to get sane, sometimes you may have to act a little crazy.