BONUS! J + K is also for JT & Kicking Ass

Runner’s high bonus post! Ready, set, go!!

Friends, is there anything more badass than running to “Cry Me A River”…

…in the rain?

No. There is not.

(And that includes the entire Jason Bourne franchise and most of the Olympics…)

It’s just the perfect little pissed-off pop song, isn’t it?

You told me you loved me / Why did you leave me all alone
Now you tell me you need me / When you call me on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused / With some other guy
Bridges were burned, now it’s your turn / to cry…

UNNGH! Justin Timberlake, be in my life!

I’m craving a long race again, folks. Because there’s nothing like the feeling of defying your own limits. And another feeling, like tonight, of symbolically leaving everyone who’s ever wronged you in your dust.

In your stronger, skinnier, sexier, funnier, prettier, taller, older, wiser DUST.

My new best friend Mindy Kaling writes about how revenge fantasies are essential fuel for exercise in her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and Other Concerns), which I just finished. It’s a delight. And she is correct. I’d weigh at least 20 more pounds if not for the unwise decisions of all my ex-boyfriends. So thanks, fellas.

(It’s mostly the runner’s high talking…but JT knows what I’m talkin’ about.)

(Oh, also, Mom: this video is a tad sexier than the average Muppet clip I’d post. You are warned. But he was getting back at Britney Spears, so. Justified.)

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J + K is for Just Kidding

Weekend Update guest Judy Grimes makes my soul happy.

jk jk jk

Not only because she’s allowing me to make up some time and combine “J” & “K” perfectly, but also because I think she’s genius. While she’s not as well-known as Wiig’s other characters like Gilly, Target Lady, or crazy-arms Junice, I still think Judy Grimes is one of the funniest things on SNL because her bit is EFFING GENIUS (I said that already?) but also more difficult to replicate than more popular characters. (I tried, below. Fun, but not easy to do well.)

Check her out last weekend. This may not be up for long, ps, because SNL doesn’t like YouTube. And WordPress doesn’t like Hulu. (There’s a complaint my grandparents would never understand…)

Okay, here’s my attempt. I wrote this mid-sleepless-night yesterday. So, while I find myself hilarious, you are allowed to worry about me if you wish. But here we go.

This is my 170th post.
Just kidding, it’s 169.
Just kidding, why would I lie about that?
Just kidding, I don’t know, but I did.
Just kidding, no I didn’t. Would I lie to you, baby?
Just kidding, that’s one of Michael Bolton’s best songs.
Just kidding, it’s Rod Stewart.
Just kidding, it’s Michael Bolton.
Just kidding, none of Michael Bolton’s songs are his best song.
Just kidding, “Can I Touch You There?” is.
Just kidding, no it isn’t.
Just kidding, but seriously, can I?
Just kidding, I don’t want to touch you there.
Just kidding, yes I do.
Just kidding, no I don’t, but Rod Stewart does.
Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding.

YOU GUYS. TRY IT. THAT IS SO MUCH FUN.

This was my 170th post. And I love, love, love Kristen Wiig.
Not kidding.