X marks the spot. Y? It’s Z end!!

Readers!! Look over there…do you see that? It’s December! Who put that there?
Doesn’t it seem like only yesterday we were talking about October being…only yesterday?

See how profound I am? I have discovered that time passes.
Somebody tell those MacArthur people.

Well…I’m totally cheating to finish on time. Is anyone surprised?
I am surprised, pleasantly, that I’m not cramming half the alphabet into November 30’s post. Three feels manageable.

So here’s how this is going down:

Nothing starts with “X.” Don’t talk to me, Xylophone. You are already featured on a flashcard set in every preschool classroom in America. (And don’t give me grief about X-Box or Xerox or any of the many dozens of words that do, okay fine, begin with X. I’ll have none of it.) I’m X-ing out “X.”

Exhibit X

(But, seriously, thanx for marking the spot.)

I can handle Y & Z.

See, I felt I would be remiss if I didn’t find a way to wrap up with a music video. And since it turns out that both “Y” and “Z” are in Boyz II Men, I feel totally comfortable with this selection.

I mean it, too. We belong together, readers.

It’s been a fun little experiment. (Damn you, X! there you are again!)
Thanks for playing, and you can alpha-bet we’ll try another group challenge sometime soon. (Oh, I made that joke.)

*Bonus Feature*

(aren’t you glad you stuck around until the end?!)

For December, I’m giving myself a twitter challenge to post a favorite Decemberists lyric every day. #DecemberistsDecember takes me down 21 characters…but that’s the idea for now anyway. Tune in.

I’m eXcited.

W is for Writing

Writing and I have been on a love rollercoaster tonight. I’m trying to wrap up this essay for The Writer magazine’s memoir contest, which is due tomorrow. (Which, pssh, “memoir” in just 1200 words? I’d like to see you try, rule-makers. These crappy blog entries are often that long or more. Come on!)

To give you a window into my writing neurosis, here’s the kind of fiddling I sometimes do with tweets (TWEETS, for the love). Momma’s just got to get it to sound right or else why do it at all, dig? (That sentence does not count.)

One of life’s great tragedies: sometimes the brilliant things you wrote last night are the mediocre things you have to fix today.

It’s one of life’s great tragedies that sometimes the brilliant things you write one day become the mediocre things you try to fix the next.

Why is the brilliant thing I wrote last night so often the mediocre thing I have to fix today?

Revision is this weird walk of shame with your own ideas. Why is the brilliant thing I wrote last night so often the mediocre thing I have to fix today?

I think that little progression’s fun because it illustrates what a feverish and picky self-editor I am, and the sentiment itself is also so true. I get tricked by my own ideas all the time, excitedly scribbling a spark of inspiration, only to discover on a second or third reading that I have not, in fact, become the Voice of This Generation just yet.

Still, I think writing & I are going to patch things up and give it another try.
I discarded that tweet (though I still like the idea-walk-of-shame idea…), but I have 1198 words elsewhere that I’m starting to have friendly feelings for.

So I’d better go read it again, again.

T & V are for TV

Here’s one thing I know for sure: I will never, ever be one of those people who displays her intelligence by proclaiming she doesn’t own a television. Those people frighten and fascinate me. Like circus performers. What do they do all day?!

(If I ever become one, I’ll count on you, dear readers, to please PLEASE stage an intervention including repeat viewings of the Charlie Brown episode of Arrested Development, Pam & Jim’s wedding, or just any moment from The Wire. I couldn’t pick a favorite. Well, Bubbles.)

Liz Lemon + Don Draper = ultimate TV fantasy

Gotta admit, folks, I’m a little worn out from this near-daily 500-1000 word bloggery. And as much as I would love to rant on and on and on about how much I love to love TV (always have) and how someday I hope to write it myself and would be so happy to be completely obscure as long as my characters are funny… I just don’t have it in me tonight.

Please still be my friend.

Instead I thought I’d try a new take on the ABC challenge and go through the alphabet with 26 of SJ’s formative shows. Oh boy, oh boy!

A – Animaniacs
B – Beakman’s World
C – CBS Sunday Morning (Curb, Conan, Californication…so many C’s!)
D – Daily Show, The
E – Early Edition
F – Family Guy (let’s clarify: Family Guy on DVD in 2003. Not Family Guy now.)
G – Glee (season 1)
H – Homefront (obscure, but excellent)
I – In Treatment / It’s Always Sunny (Maybe the only time these 2 shows have been mentioned together, ever.)
J – JAG
K – (I just, you guys, I never loved King of the Hill.)
L – Late Show with David Letterman
M – Mad Men
N – Nash Bridges (for sure. See: Friday nights in 7th grade.)
O – Office, The
P – Price is Right, The
Q – Quinn, Dr.
R – Ren & Stimpy
S – Sports Night (Saved by the Bell, Seinfeld, Simpsons, Spongebob, SNL, Sex & The City…For real, too many S’s.)
T – 30 Rock
U – Unusuals, The (short-lived, but good)
V
W – Wire, The
X – X Files (thank you, Netflix)
Y
Z

Um…I’m sure I’m making glaring omissions. I tried not to double up on letters unless I just couldn’t help myself. (S-shows, for the win!) Will also happily take suggestions for K, V, Y, or Z…

I just remembered that this was a game we played on the plane ride back from Vietnam (yes, to hearken back to “R” day travel-snobbery, I have been to Vietnam), and it was super fun. A few of us tried to name movies, TV shows or books through the ABCs and then, Scattergories-style, eliminated duplicates. SUCH A FUN PARTY GAME!, said the girl who just blogged about TV…